The CragBaby

Camping in Rifle.

I am having such a good time in the Red, but today am a little bit bummed.  I thought I would take a minute to write up a gratitude list as usually my discouragement is silly and can be discarded by simply remembering all the good that abounds.  I am bummed for a small handful of reasons.

1. I am getting my ass-kicked here in the Red and am just super tired from climbing at my top level every single day.  I think I just need to find some other climbing partners, those who climb more in my range.  Right now I am working on 5.12’s EVERYDAY and am just tired… simply tired…. and am getting burnt out rather than climbing for fun.
2. At home I was dating this fab guy for the past year and a half.  Well, due to different stages of life and me needing to travel, we are both single again and just real good friends.  I think I am slowly but surely remembering how tricky the single life is.  Ha ha.  Geez, there are a lot of people out here with baggage over ex-girlfriends and ex-wives.  It is already getting a little old… Ha!
3. I wish I could volunteer somewhere.  I really miss volunteering on a weekly basis as it seemed to keep my life in check.  Now that I live on the road, my whole life is completely selfish as I just honestly do what I want every single day.  I looked to see where the nearest blood center was located, but it is a couple hours away.  I need to brainstorm another volunteer activity…. perhaps there is something I can do online?

Enough complaining. =)  Here is the list of ten things I am grateful for today.

1. I have met some really great people on the road.  Seems like there are many fellow travelers who have unique stories to tell, who have worked interesting jobs and are also apprised of current events.
2. CB has really mellowed out!  I had put her in an agression class prior to hitting the road, but being surrounded by so many dogs and people has been a huge catalyst in helping her social skills.  She has actually even played with three dogs since we have been here, two big labs and one pug.  I am real happy with her progress!
3. I think if I keep pushing myself here in the Red, I am either destined to get stronger…. or…. get so pissed off that I will stop climbing.  Ha!  I am hoping for strength rather than retirement.
4. I am grateful that I am able to travel for a couple months, while still being able to work for my firm.  Rest days can be real boring usually, and I am extremely fortunate that I can work not only a job, but a job I love.
5. I think this time off can be a great opportunity for me to re-assess life.  I read this blog post the other day and it really hit home.  It was a bit more financial based, but I liked the theme of looking back on where you had dreamt to go and re-aligning so you really get there.
6. I really like who I am and I am grateful for that.  I think I am a good person, career focused, well traveled and diverse.
7. I am grateful for all the good climbing here in Kentucky.  I love the rock, the beautiful trees and the interesting culture that accompanies all of it.
8. Work is real busy lately, allowing me to work whenever I want and making my rest days cruise by.
9. I’m super appreciative of my friends back home.  Almost daily I have an email or instant message from someone at home, just checking in to see how the trip is going.  It is real nice of them and always makes me smile.
10. Lastly, I need to just remember that I am LIVING ON THE ROAD.  It isn’t everyday that one has this great opportunity.  =)

Whew… I already feel lots better.  It is amazing what a simple gratitude list can do. =)

As usual, the grateful list is accompanied by a pretty picture. This one is from Holland.

Pretty cranky today. I think it is the combination of busy full-time job + finals in school + being sick + never feeling like I can get enough done within 24 hours of the day + perhaps some leftover stress from the last month (dissolution of family, moving, health issues, getting used to living with kids, etc). The key to crankiness evaporation is a grateful list. So as I sit in my last Java class (thank goodness. I really liked this class and especially liked the teacher, but this class just moved too quickly for me as I struggled to grasp the language at the rate expected), I am going to write ten things for which I am grateful.

1. I am grateful for all that I have learned in school, even though it has been rough fitting it in with my work schedule. I think I have an American mentality in the sense that I feel as if I am always supposed to be working…. watching all trends, always learning and never being inefficient. Whew. I am exhausted. I hit the exhaustion wall right around the time I had to move into my new house. Regardless, I am glad I took these computer science classes for the sole reason that I really believe I picked up some knowledge that was helpful in my deal screening at work.
2. I am grateful for people who take the time to read my blogs. My blogs are pretty silly, so I must have some good friends out there, but I appreciate them. I also appreciate the spare time people take to comment and give trackbacks. Thank you.
3. I feel like I am going to cry today. I am grateful that this feeling comes on rare occasion. Now, I just need to figure out how to avoid bawling in front of someone.
4. I am grateful for my new bike, the Free Spirit. Blog post about this beauty is coming soon.
5. I am grateful that this CS Teacher of mine really is quite humorous. The class might move too quickly for me, but he really does provide the best examples. It makes me smile.
6. I am grateful that winter is almost over and spring is budding.
7. I am grateful that I soon will be able to climb more than once per week again. I miss climbing and being able to blow off steam by clipping bolts.
8. I am grateful that my friend the Route Slayer had the chance to run in the Boston Marathon. Not only did she get to participate, but she finished in the time of 3 hours and 46 minutes. I am real proud of her. She is a rockstar!
9. I am grateful for the funniest email I just received from Steve Spencer. He was putting out positive vibes for me and my java class and is was written in such a humorous manner. =)
10. I am grateful that through this blog post I was able to contain my emotions. Perhaps I can now talk to my teacher after class without my mascara running. =)

It has been one of those days. Instead of being cranky, I am going to do my normal practice of listing 10 things for which I am grateful (and adding in a pretty picture from Ireland).

• I am glad my friend Sam has the opportunity to move to Guam. Tonight he is playing music at a SLC house party and I am excited to see him before he goes. Sam is one of my best friends and I am so excited for his chance to leave Utah and expound on his career.
• I am excited that it is 2008. Good things are in the pipeline this year. I am excited for those things to come to pass.
• I am on the waiting list to donate platelets on Sunday. I hope I can get in because I miss this volunteer opportunity as I haven’t done it for about a month.
• I love my dog. She is always excited to see me.
• I am grateful for opportunity and the feeling that it always exists, that I am not stuck in one place. I feel like the only thing that limits me are the invisible boundaries I imagine.
• I think a crew of us are doing a day trip to Ibex tomorrow or down to Joes to hop on some ice. I’m stoked for that.
• I am glad I stopped practicing the Mormon faith five years back. I don’t mean to offend any of my Mormon friends by that statement, but the religion wasn’t a good fit for me and I am exponentially happier since. My emergence from the religion helped me desire a career, a degree, to travel, to be independent and realize that I can make a difference. I realized that I could have a bigger role in life than to get married and have many children. I am completely a different person now and I like who I currently am a lot better. (Disclaimer: Note that I am not saying you have to leave the religion to figure these thing out. I am listing my experiences only.)
• I work with one individual who is just such a great person, genuinely a good person. He cares for everyone, has a wonderful marriage to a fantastic wife, is extremely motivating and is one of the few people I turn to for advice. I am lucky to work with him.
• I love these computer science classes even though the work load is heavy and I can easily fall behind. I love that I have had the opportunity to start learning another skill set.
• I am grateful that I like who I am. The world can be a little rough sometimes, but I am so content by myself that it doesn’t matter. Life is good even when I am all alone. Perhaps even better when I am alone. =)